...we were recently searching for an item on eBay when we stumbled across a collection of old 'Continental Classic' novels for sale - "literature" we'd long forgotten... a buddy of ours had acquired a handful of these tales sometime between 8th and 9th grades - 'Adult Only' paperbacks - "action packed" for sure (XXX) - other than the suggestive and often humorous titles and "author" they were all identical in cover art - an adorning graphic of the 'Eiffel Tower' emphasizing their "European" sensibility - each a bright balloon pastel to add some zest... we're sure that the closest these things had in relationship with originating from the "continent" was a little skinny Jersey guy typing away in the basement while his thrice-sized Italian mama was busy in the kitchen rolling pasta noodles, he's hurriedly trying to finish a page or two before she bursts in and discovers how he is actually earning that extra $25 per week, right before she puts a few dumplings on his lid with the rolling pin...
(Internet Image)
... a classic 'Classic'...
... we had a bit of fun with these back in school days - we'd approach a group of gals - there always had to be three or more for ultimate reaction - five was optimum... not drawing attention to, but volume openly in hand... the banter would usually proceed as thus...
... "what do you guys have there!"...
... "nothing''...
... "whats' that book?"...
... "nothing"...
.. "lets see it!"...
... "we can't show ya' this - no way"...
... "why not!? - what's wrong with it!!?"...
... "you gals are too innocent - you couldn't handle it"...
... "give us that book!!"...
... after a bit more back and forth we'd always "reluctantly" hand it over - open to a pre-selected, particularly saucy passage... the gals would always cluster tight - crowding shoulders - dead silence - eyes scanning print... give 'em thirty seconds and all eyes would bug out and jaws would drop before the book came hurtling back our direction...
... "you guys are sick!" (guilty)... "degenerates!!" (guilty)... "perverted!!!" (guilty)...
... worked every time...
... later...
... one or more of the gals would usually corner ya', always alone... after a short bit of small talk...
... "uhhh - do you mind if I (we) borrow that book?"...
... ya' get 'em to beg and plead a bit...
... ya' get 'em to beg and plead a bit...
... "ok - but you make sure you give it back and don't let anything happen to it - and don't lend it to anyone else!!..."
... "I (we) won't and I(we) promise to give it right back... and don't you dare tell anyone!!!..."
... always got the book back and never told a soul...
... silence (usually) later had it's reward...
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