Sixty Years Of Thunderball

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 At six o'clock in the morning there was a knock at the door at my hotel... "Aaah" I

thought, "breakfast"... the door burst open and in walked (director) Terence (Young) followed by

(cinematographer) Ted Moore and (set designer) Ken Adam, followed by (actor) Sean Connery

wheeling in what looked like my breakfast trolley... "Makeup trolley, Bob" said Sean... "I don't

understand, it was breakfast I ordered." Terence began by behaving like a director on set, "Put it

over there Sean, will you, in front of the mirror". Sean folded back the lid of the trolley and

opened all the drawers. For the next half hour they went to work on me... applying lipstick,

eyelashes, nail varnish, a blonde wig, stockings and high heeled shoes. When it came to trying

to equip me with suspender belt and knickers I drew the line - I put those on myself. Then they

marched me out in full drag in broad daylight making me cross the hotel foyer crowded with

people and down the hotel steps into the car. And the last glimpse I had of Terence and Sean

was as they collapsed in two huge chairs in the foyer as they gasped for air and barely

controlled hysterics... but that impersonation of a woman in Thunderball and the ensuing 

fight when Bond offers me his sympathy and then knocks my blonde wig off, revealing I'm a 

man, was really one of my favorite stunts.

                                                                                                - Bob Simmons                              

                                                                                                          Original and longtime Bond stuntman 

(YouTube Video)

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Fight sequence final edit (T) and Connery and Simmons on set (B)

To us it would be a great job to be tasked with sitting around and cooking up asinine 

situations to craft into a finish narrative. We could handle that.

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One morning in 1965, a few days before Christmas (or was it a few days after?), woke up totally amped one morning in anticipation of heading out to the local theater later that afternoon to check out the opening of the new James Bond film, Thunderball. The Bond films were a relatively new concept and at the peak of their popularity at the time. The buddies and I were always in eager anticipation of 'em and big fans. Received quite a bit of Bond-themed gifts that Christmas as well. We even purchased ol' pop a gift set of 007 shave cream and aftershave. He apparently didn't share our enthusiasm for Bond gear. Remember that stuff setting un-opened on the shelf in the upstairs medicine cabinet for a few years before (we suspect) going the way of the pink bowtie and yellow socks. 

Those early films set new standard in film production with emphasis on technical stunts and, in particular, award winning sound design. A good example is the above short YouTube clip. Courtesy of sound engineer Norman Wanstall and composer John Barry, the audio is always just as much an element of entertainment as the action on screen. Hence the term "Sounds like a Bond film."

Happily, No CGI back in those days. Stunt work was handled all live action with actual stuntmen...

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The impressive as heck final underwater battle was choreographed by underwater director Ricou Browning (above) and photographed by underwater cinematographer Lamar Boren. We were familiar with both those guys from the Sea Hunt television series. As soon as we saw them tagged in the opening film credits we figured that this was gonna' be good.

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Earlier in time, Browning was also the underwater Creature From The Black Lagoon

Wrangling a 14ft tiger shark for Thunderball: Browning, dive assistant and cast "extra"

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Thunderball underwater battle. We always liked when the various sea predators joined the final 1/3 of the fight.

We read current on-line comments regarding the final edit length of the underwater battle being excessive and slowing down the pace of the film. We always wished that it was longer. The audience at the time certainly thought so. Shortly after Bond exits the Coast Guard helicopter, zipping along powered by his tank-mounted propulsion unit, we remember the surrounding theater audience erupting in cheers as Bond enters the battle by ripping the face mask off a battling bad guy as chief villain Largo views incredulously. 

Speaking of hardware. Other than Bond being equipped with "everything but the kitchen sink", we like the simplicity of the dive gear. No BCD's and only the necessary hardware - a basic weight belt and double tank back-plate, face mask and fins. We also like the bad guy's old school double hose regulators. Bear in mind that at the time recreational diving was less than ten years old. We ourselves attained open water dive certification years later, prompted to a large extent from viewing Thunderball as well as the Sea Hunt and Cousteau TV series. Though by that time the pursuit had advanced to a bit of point of exasperation with all the hardware, as far as we were concerned. We realize the necessity for learning the function and developing the skill associated with the stuff, but man, the course instructors really loaded ya' up with gear - console depth/pressure gauge, dive watch, dive computer, compass, BCD, octopus regulator, dive knife, thick 6mm wet suit (second lesson out we brought our own 3mm paddling wetsuit), hood, gloves, boots, snorkel, fins (a bit oversized we thought - we preferred our own traditional snorkeling fins) and weight belt. Ta' boot they additionally recommended a thin under-wet-suit rash guard/thermal suit. First sight of all this stuff splayed about the deck of the pool our first thought was "How come Mike Nelson can dive with just an air tank, weight belt, face mask and fins?". And we thought that we'd seen it all after meeting a few over-the-top gear junkies from rock climbing. Those guys are pikers when sided amongst divers.

Excerpt from a recent NAUI on-line interview with Ricou Browning prior to his passing in 2023:

NAUI: "How do you think the dive industry has changed in the last, say, 40, 50, 60 years?"

Browning: "A diver wears so much equipment it's unbelievable. We used to just wear a tank

                               and a weight belt, and that's it. And then they all of a sudden start putting all 

                               this junk on ya'. And then you're overweighted... everything, it's just too much.

                               All you need is air."

We gotta' agree with Ricou. Although, we're hardly the expert. We've only subsequently have done maybe a dozen dives. The last being sometime late 90's. Most all memorable, however. One of which being a pretty cool drift dive of the Niagara River (NY) a few miles upstream of the falls. Remember lots of interesting large rock boulders. And our group was escorted the maybe two mile distance by random schools of small mouth bass.

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One of the Sunday newspaper magazine supplements featured a rear page mail order ad offer of nine Ian Fleming Bond novels for (as we recall) $2 for the bunch. Hard back. Each of the then four film adaptations and five others. Placed our order and after receipt read 'em all in about a month. Each quite a contrast to the film versions but highly recommended none-the-less. At about that time we received a letter from the publisher listing a second month's selection of books handpicked just for us based upon our "known interests". Seemed that we had inadvertently committed to a subscription book club. Minimum one year. The selections included all adult level reading. Hey - we're nine years old. We can handle it. Didn't gripe and honored our contract. Subsequently developed a life long interest in reading. Just as important, learned to read over the terms and conditions and fine print of any future agreement, whether we understand it or not, before signing on the dotted line.

Anyway, good film. And the book ain't bad, either. 

Old Dad Tales Of Bulls*t: Border Incident

We made a brief trip up to Southern Ontario a few weeks back. Personal business. One of those last minute things. Considering the current politics, was a bit apprehensive over the thought of possible border crossing issues. Inquired on obtaining a passport card, but was told 3-4 week wait time. Ta' boot, they currently weren't issuing them anyway because of the U.S. government shutdown. After driving five hours, we sure as heck didn't want to get turned back at the Canadian border. Our business couldn't wait. Nor did we want to. Made a few phone calls to the authorities and explained the situation. "Just gonna' be in Canada for at most two hours to pick something up - then we're gone." Was told by both U.S and Canadian officials to just pack a photo drivers license and an original birth certificate and "you should be fine". Did just that and made it there and back with no problem. The border guards couldn't have been better guys. 

Had Previously lived and worked in Buffalo, NY for four years. With occasional business in Southern Ontario we'd traveled that Peace Bridge border crossing probably a hundred times. Back then ya' usually just flashed your drivers license and you were good to go. Guess that currently could be called the good ol' days. 

Still, and as always back then, upon reaching the border we were prone to always recall a past, amusing tale told to us by our old buddy Big John, related as follows with a bit of "editing for depth" on our part...

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Two or three years out of high school and a casual friend from school, Dino, having since procured a pretty good job, purchased a brand new car. As an added reward to himself he arranged, along with a few other friends, John included, an extended road trip. The route was to take 'em cross country, final destination the southwest U.S. terminating in San Diego, CA. There they would visit with a few other relocated buddies as well as John's brother and dad. 

Arriving in San Diego, and after visiting and renewing old friendships, and with no set itinerary, their trip expanded to south of the border into Tijuana, Mexico. A day or two of fun in Tijuana and the boys are set to return. All is well as they arrive at the border crossing for re-entry to the USA. The crossing guard checks their credentials, deems all is good, and waves the crew on thru. John, always good for a wisecrack or two, seated rear seat behind driver Dino, nudges Dino on the shoulder...

"See... I told ya' they don't check the fender wells"... words uttered deliberately within earshot of the border guard...

"OK smart ass - pull that car over into the lot!" responds the guard. 

They pull into the lot and are left stewing for about a half hour while the guard goes about his business at the gate. About another half hour later the guard arrives in company with a border patrol pickup riding two inspectors. The inspectors hop out and move to the bed of the truck and begin sorting floor jacks, tools and jack stands. The boys are ordered out of the car and are left to watch as the inspectors go to work...

"Make sure to check those fender wells good!" orders the guard, with direct glare at John.

The inspection proceeds as efficient as a Formula 1 pit stop. After an overall exterior and under frame visual, they initially have the hood and trunk lids open, performing thorough visual inspection of the engine and trunk compartments. Dino occasionally glances John's direction, repeating "##@@!! YOU, JOHN!!"

The interior is next, which includes unbolting and removing the front and rear seats... they rummage thru the glove box and console, perform a visual under the dash, feel about the roof liner...

"##@@!! YOU, JOHN!!"

Next they loosen the lug nuts on all four wheels, place a floor jack front and rear, lift the body and off come the wheels... there's a thorough inspection of the fender wells and again the underbody...

"##@@!! YOU, JOHN!!"

Dino now stands watching in shock as his new car sets wheelless atop four jack stands, front and rear seats setting on the asphalt parking lot along with luggage and all else that they were carrying. Papers scattered throughout the interior...

"##@@!! YOU, JOHN!!"

Finally, the guard walks over...

"You guys are good to go."

Off struts the guard back toward his post. The two inspectors return to the pickup, both pulling metal floor jacks rattling across the pavement. They load their jacks and tools and depart. Dino, John and crew are left to put it all back together. 

"##@@!! YOU, JOHN!!"

Some time later we ran into Dino while out having a few beers. Eventually, in conversation, we brought up John's retelling of the incident...

"##@@!! JOHN!!" was his only reply.

We related this tale to an actual border agent who was a neighbor on the same block as us in North Tonawanda, a suburb of Buffalo. He said that those guys actually got off easy. The agents could have pulled all the door panels, dismantles the dash - a total number of things. "They could also have held those guys in custody for 72 hours for thorough background checks... they were lucky that the agents were just teaching them a lesson.."

Needless to say, John never got invited along on another road trip - unless he drove alone.

A Wednesday Prayer

Let us pray...... 

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....... the Reverend Arnold...

Build It Better (At Least For Us)

A few years back we purchased a 'Suspenz All-Terrain Super-Duty Airless Canoe and Kayak Cart'. Pretty much the most heavy-duty advertised carrier for totin' kayaks and canoes that we could find on the market. In our case canoes. Requisite rough terrain and long distance capable. It pretty much sat unused in the gear room since purchase. We recently got back around to its attention. First off performing an initial test rigging and pull around the back yard. The load was a 34" beam, 14ft length (polyethylene) boat, say a fully outfitted 60lb weight. We subsequently took the same rig out to the river side for further testing prior to practical use. The test site was our usual river put-in consisting of a (say) 200ft length approach along a graded and easily traversed side hill cut dirt road leading to a concrete plank boat launch. The final 60ft parallels the immediate left bank along the mouth of a small feeder creek before onto the launch. Situated within the flood zone, the launch site and last 60ft of approach is frequently submerged during high water river and creek levels and subsequently backwashed with river silt, sand and cobbles. The flood events are most prominent late fall, throughout winter and into early spring. Ensuing flood scar soft sands and scour holes are usually raked over or bridged with readily available large rocks and rip-rap boulders as needed. Typically a bit coarse repair. We made sure to pull the loaded cart over every bumpy rut and protruding large rock along that final rough approach. 

The cart, sporting large airless tire wheels, rolled great over even the worst of the terrain. We weren't quite satisfied with the load handling. The padded, adjustable factory "bunker bars", which support the load, just needed a bit more width and length. At least for totin' a wide, shallow arch canoe hull. The build seemed more aptly suited for a v-shaped or keeled kayak hull, similar to an ocean kayak. The canoe kept wanting to list left or right along the roll axis no matter how tightly strapped, dropping short side in between the bunkers. In turn the weight shifted accordingly to the high side resulting in imbalance and overturning the whole shebang. This was pretty much unavoidable on the rugged, rocky ground. 

We decided to replace the bunker bars. After removal, we fabricated four 3" angle brackets to which was bolted two 3ft length wood 1X4 slats as a deck. We had a few 1/2" thick unused closed cell foam floor mats lying about from which we cut-to-fit several strips for deck padding. Contact cement worked fine for their attachment. We considered aluminum angle as opposed to the wood slats, just for a bit more professional appearance. Stuck to our usual utilitarian ways, though. Just looking for performance. The slats can alternately be attached right-angle to the cart if more width is necessary. In that configuration the original bunker bars can be reattached at increased width. We don't see any need for that - and still a modular option. We're thinkin', too, that longer slats at a right-angle configuration may allow loading of two boats. Something to eventually test. 

We loaded this old Dagger OC1 to test it out. The boat rested a heck of a lot better. Pulled fine.

That boat has held up pretty well for the mileage. Purchased new in 1990 (see below)

The (otherwise roadless) local river gorge is easily accessed for endless miles along its length by a bordering rail trail bicycle and hiking path. Easy totin' for the canoe cart. Hence the cart's destined purpose - rail trail river access. Subsequently, at whatever intended destination reached we figure to stash the cart for later retrieval by bicycle. So we further fabricated a simple bike hitch attachment. Still a work-in- progress in these images, but the idea presents itself. Four piece assembly. A cut section of 3/4" galvanized EMT conduit bent at a 45º angle to clear the rear bike wheel. A matching straight section was u-bolted to the cart frame...

We found matching 45º EMT conduit fittings on-line, available from these guys 'Maker Pipe', for joining the conduit sections. We drilled out the connection to accept 1/4" hitch pins to hold the alignment and as backup should the connection vibrate loose while bounding along the trail...

A seat post swivel hitch was fabricated from a 1/2" cable thimble. The thimble and joining end of the 45-bent conduit was drilled out for fastening with another 1/4" hitch pin. First the conduit end was pressed flat to fit the notch separating the thimble. The flat was done by just pressing the pipe in the jaws of a work bench vise. The pipe flattened easily with no heating and with no subsequent splitting or cracking. A 1/2 split rubber pipe coupling was used for height adjustment of the thimble hitch on the bike seat post...

That's it - just needs a few minor adjustments

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Pulled from the archives. A couple old scanned 35mm prints of fourteen-year-old strong-man Matt and his first ever whitewater trip in that OC1 - 1992

Did superb. Though, a bit hesitant "rail grabber" in this shot while following one of the few small drops we led 'em over.

Quickly got the hang of it... river...

... and creek...

Halloween Fun '25 With The Goat Man

We were associated years back with a construction project involving reconstruction of an earthen dam servicing Cash Lake, located just north of Bowie, Prince Georges County, MD. The small, fifty-six acre lake itself is sited more or less within the limits of the Patuxent (National Wildlife) Research Refuge. At the time it was (our understanding) that the Refuge was managed by the U.S. Departments of Agriculture and Defense. As we recall, the road-side signage as you approached along Laurel-Bowie Rd (MD197) identified the site as 'Department of Agriculture Wildlife Research Center'. At that time the Refuge was going through transferral to oversight by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS), who manage it to this day. The USFWS on site project rep, full of knowledge about the place, noted that the Refuge was originally part of the adjacent U.S. Army depot, Fort (George G.) Meade, now a border site to the northeast. Fort Meade was once the location of extensive military research and testing of chemical and biological weapons. Reconstruction of the dam was part of various restoration and improvements for converting the site to actual "wildlife refuge" status. It was also said to be an occasional (and classified) D.C. area fishing spot of then President George H.W. Bush, so renovation of the fishing dock was also in the plans.  A few previous priority tasks throughout  the overall property involved remediation of various integral "military-grade" contaminated waste sites. 

We always wondered why the military (usually) situates all their chemical, biological, radiological etc. research and testing to locations of much ecological diversity and balance - as example reference Montauk NY>Plum Island>Lyme Connecticut>Lyme Disease. Or in the case of Bikini Atoll and the South Pacific, a tropical paradise. Seems that the more "passing thru" migratory fowl and ocean life the better. Open range nuclear devise testing, such as the low desert north of Las Vegas, Nevada, now housing the Desert National Wildlife Refuge (DNWR), seems prime real estate for these guys as well. Lots of bighorn sheep and desert wildlife there. Now all considered safe for wildlife, swimmers, hikers and people in general. A few residual, but unproven, tales of a strange sitings or occurrence here and there. Strange creatures. UFO's visiting the just up the road to the DNWR - Area 51. Enough to fill an hour of speculative TV fun and cinema frights. But (so far) no giant Japanese lizards nor mutant cannibal hillbillies lurking about.

The Patuxent Refuge was not without its own lore. We heard our share of a strange tale or two while working at the dam project. The majority came from a (local) USFWS site rep who replaced the regular vacationing (and Colorado residing) project manager for a week. He related tales of "mad experiments" occurring within the restricted laboratory involving hybrid animal concoctions. Fun stuff - but don't expect us to believe it. Although, his charge of research specimen dairy cows grazing the roadside pastures, each housing a "trap door" abdomen for sampling digestive content was fact (we can attest to hopping the fence to investigate that claim for ourself).

Further, albeit totally unexpected, assertion came from a local heavy-equipment subcontractor we frequently hired as needed for other projects. He resided just down the road, not more than a mile away and bordering the Refuge. Had lived there since birth. While working with him a short time later on an alternate project, we related a few of the Refuge tales to him. Kind of a rough, no bulls*t character, we expected a "Those guys are full of sh*t!" response. Instead, his eyes got big as tea saucers....

"Oh man... one evening when I was a kid a uniformed soldier came pounding late one evening at the front door. He was armed and serious. He pretty much ordered us the remain indoors. No explanation. This was occurring throughout the neighborhood. We were watching out the windows as several military vehicles circled the block, shining spotlights between homes and thru the woods. After about an hour a line of four or five vehicles passed the house, continued up the street, and then they were gone. Central to the contingent was a large, gated and tarped-over flat bed truck. A bit later, as the neighbors began to circulate, one guy who lived at the end of a side street cut-de-sac exclaimed that he saw them wrangling and loading some large, horse-resembling animal into the flat bed. Un-horse-like, it appeared to have horns like a small buck deer. said that it stood on all fours but constantly rose up on its hind legs to walk. Claimed it was creepy as f*k! A few days later, after repeatedly pressed for an explanation, a Refuge representative stated that a cow had breached the fenced pasture... that's all they would say."

"Huh.... well, OK"

There was no internet back then for second guess. Ya' just went with the assertion and moved on. Took it for what it was worth....

Occasionally people familiar with the stop-motion film work we've posted herein send us an idea or two for a short-story line and a stop-motion creature. All are pretty good. Most all are mythological beings from legend and lore. We subsequently like to further delve into the associated epic narrative. A (bit) recent one was this fellow, the 'GoatMan'. To us a bit captivating tale, to say the least:

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None of the previous tales related to us ever mentioned a GoatMan character. But he sounds a bit like the critter that was corralled into the back of that covered military truck....

Google Map of the Patuxent Research Refuge. Lots of green space for a GoatMan to hide out. Note Fort Meade to the northeast. Now to compound the fun, note 'NASA Goddard Space Flight Center' bordering to the southwest. Those guys weren't short of tales of UFO's and even Bigfoot stemming from that place...

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... an on-line image supposedly captured at the Refuge... we'll save that stuff for maybe next Halloween...

Sale Boats

For Sale

Now need the storage space after a recent minor upgrade, necessitating a bit of major downgrade: 

L - R:

Nova Craft Ocoee OC1 $800

Dagger Pegasus Kayak/SOT $250 SOLD

Dagger Pegasus Kayak/SOT $250 SOLD

Liquid Logic 'Coupe' Kayak/SOT $350 SOLD

Mohawk Maxim OC1 $800

12/16: We opened up enough space by clearing out the 'SOLD' items that we retained storage space for the Ocoee and Maxim. We decided to pull them off the "market" and keep 'em. We were having second thoughts about parting with them, anyway.

Also:

NRS Adventurer SUPs (2) w/ backpacks/pumps/hoses/patch kit $150/each SOLD

NRS 'Big Earl' SUP w/ backpack/pump/hose/patch kit $50 SOLD

Misc:

BPM OC1 Float bags (set), 60", black $50

Double blade kayak paddles (2) $25/each SOLD

Nova Craft Ocoee

Rebrand of a classic Dagger OC1. Brand new condition. Royalex hull. Fully outfitted.

Mohawk Maxim

Brand new condition. An early, short length/high performance OC1 playboat. Royalex hull. Full factory outfitting. Probably not many of these out there. That hard chined/planing-style hull can be a bit squirrelly when "goin' with the flow", requiring constant attention. Fun surf boat when some swift water under it, though. Spins on a dime. That's all we've ever done with it. Best suited for a lighter paddler (maybe <180lbs) our opinion having paddled it.

Dagger 'Pegasus' Kayaks, Sit-On-Top

Excellent condition. Pretty fun. Performed well on Lower Yough runs at Class III levels (say max. 3ft OPG). Also multiple local creek runs. A good introduction boat for aspiring WW kayakers. Surfs well, too. Good boat to have when the only alternative partner for the day is a coerced, boatless, never paddled or seldom paddler. 

Liquid Logic 'Coupe' Kayak, Sit-On-Top

Brand new condition. Bought it brand new with the intent to convert to a photography boat with some alterations we had in mind. Another project that got put along the wayside and never started. Fun. Surfed it a few times at the local Class II play spot. That soft hull will hold an edge, for a sit-on-top. Has a mechanical, lever actuated "drop down" skeg that you can engage for the flats which holds a track very well.

NRS Adventurer SUP

Those two 'Adventurer' SUP's are nine years old. Both developed an air leak (maybe 1" length delamination) in the seam last season. We repaired 'em both with 'StaBond' adhesive and are as good as new. We decided to replace 'em with new boards regardless as we tend to paddle a bit remote locations with long swims involved for return with a damaged board. We've had several inflatable boats over the years (rafts, kayaks, now SUPs) and it's our experience that after around 8 to 10 years of "normal" use to expect issues with glued seams. The 'Big Earl' board had one (maybe two as we recall) minor seam leaks that required only small patches. Otherwise, no punctures nor tears in all - just the usual minor scuffs.

Those BPM float bags are far and away the best bags out there. Halkey-Roberts style air valves - no "beach ball" valves of old. We got that set a few years back from a semi-local guy who was to deliver 36" bags. Never unpackaged them to check before the two hour drive back home after meeting him half way to pick them up. Discovered 60" bags after opening the box. Figured f*k it - was a hassle dealing just to get those. Lesson learned. They're brand new and never used - just have had no current use for 'em. We later found out those bags are manufactured in Britain by 'BPM Whitewater'. We since only deal with them directly. Best float bags and great service. We also discovered that the local guy marked the bags up 2X in price.

Contact if interested. Available for pick up here at the sanctum sanctorum. If reasonable distance we can travel to meet ya' somewhere along the road. We'll (eventually) post these locally on 'Craig's List' as well.

Ocoee and Maxim Specs:

Any updates to the availability of this stuff we'll re-post herein.

MRE16 - Part II

 We added a high performance modification to the Explorer 16...

... installed a 650HP, high torque inboard

Back To Basics Part II: River Trails

Returned to an old local training route (one of several) we used to frequently paddle years back when striving to master moving water canoeing basics. Probably seventy-five percent of our paddling was upriver over low volume flows sporting usually taxing class I turbulence and class II to II+ waves, drops and holes. The prior tackled alternately head-on and through a combined series of switchback ferries and eddy hopping. The latter always and easily by-passed by tracking or lining upriver along the shoreline shoals - while being fun play spots for practicing tight eddy turns and surfing on the downriver return. Was great training for solving the geometry of an open, rockered whitewater boat. And ya' just need your shorts, shoes, boat and paddle (and mandatory PFD  now'days, which can be stowed).

A bit of fun two to three hour workout and only minutes from the front door. Out and back. No shuttle necessary. 

Upstream ≈ 1 mile. Downstream ≈ 1.7 mile. Say 2.7 miles round trip. Flatwater up to class II whitewater.

Best to tote along a sturdy old 'Carlisle' aluminum shaft/plastic blade raft paddle. Usually a bit of "paddle poling" involved on the shallow upriver. Is a useful walking stick for the tracking sections as well. Saves some wear and tear on the more expensive wooden or composite  paddles.

No fifteen foot waterfalls nor long, desperate class V drops involved. Usually just hard work. Would probably seem pretty lame to most.

No fun to be had here

MRE16

We needed another riverboat like a hole in the head. However, just happened to come a cross a somewhat rare (and local) 'Craig's List' find - a Mad River Explorer 16 (tandem) canoe. Royalex hull. Wood (ash) gunnels, thwarts, yoke, webbed seats. Was posted as a 1991 (at that time) twenty year anniversary model. There's a stamped serial number on the hull for verification. We'll take their word for it. 

Mad River Explorer 16

Took a ride up to check it out. Common to royalex canoe hulls sporting wood gunnel trim, there was one "cold crack", about eight inch length, located toward the bow end of the hull. Cold cracks occur only with wood gunnel royalex hulls, always at the screw holes, then propagating cross-section. This tendency is resultant to differential thermal contraction between the gunnel wood and hull plastic exposed to sub-freezing temperatures.  The condition is avoided by storing the boat during the winter months in a dry, heated environment (aka, above freezing). If outdoors exposed to the elements, it is recommended to loosen the wood fastening screws and store in a dry location or under cover. 

The cold crack

The seller had previously done an expert, and per spec, repair on the cold crack. We looked the boat over and (at the time) found no additional cracks. Otherwise, the boat was in what we considered excellent condition and was obviously well maintained over the years. Although not thrilled about a maintenance dependent wood trim hull, we did have a bit of space available for winter storage in a heated basement. F*k it - we slipped the guy the cash, strapped the boat to the vehicle, offered our thanks, bid farewell, and were on the road. 

First opportunity we recruited muscle girl Sarah to assist with an afternoon of test paddling to evaluate performance and "sea worthiness". Took us a few strokes to get into tandem sync - she having never paddled tandem before (but a paddler none-the-less) and as for myself it having been quite a few years back. Only required a short learning curve. With her manning the bow I think that within the half-hour we could have entered and placed in any up-river race. 

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One of the infrequent past times that we had paddled a tandem boat was on a river in Virginia with two boats and three other guys who we worked with at the time. Was a class I-II river and we were on a weekend river camping outing. Never paddled with those guys before and personally had only paddled whitewater boats. Those guys had claimed to be avid paddlers and each owned pretty nice 'Old Towne' tandems. I was bow positioned the whole trip. Couldn't get used to paddling seated so eventually switched to a kneeling position. Those guys became a bit outraged - "Why are you kneeling - that's not how you paddle!" Ta' boot, those guys did their best to totally avoid any turbulence of any sort, be it fun small waves or drops. I'd get reprimanded as well at any attempt to draw toward that "excitement". The few drops that we did run were done with a bit of trepidation on their part. One guy would constantly rest his paddle and grab the rails. Luckily that first evening there was a small set of class II waves with a small drop along an outside bend and channel just downriver from our camp. The inside bend was pretty shoal so it wasn't difficult to walk a boat back upriver. After they had loosened up over a few after dinner beers, I talked them into taking one of the boats, now relieved of all gear and provisions, out to paddle the narrow channel. I explained the benefits of kneeling, of not being afraid to lean the boat, and demonstrated draw strokes and stern prys. It wasn't long before I was settin' along the shoreline watchin' those guys have a heck of a lot of fun preoccupied runnin' the channel over and over with me drinking beers two to their one. The remainder of the trip they were now aiming for even the slightest turbulence. They couldn't have had more fun than if we were floating the Colorado.

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(Sarah Zagorce Image)

Paddled pretty good solo while kneeling "amidship". May add a foam kneeling pad. We also understand that, considering a symmetrical hull, the preferred way to paddle the boat solo/seated is positioned bow and facing stern, or, "backwards". Weight back solo in the stern seat position created heavy bow lift as in the above image

  Later on, back at the sanctum, we masked off the gunnels and re-finished 'em using two coats of recommended 'Watco Exterior Wood Finish'. That should do it...

"Hey, let's go paddlin'!" 

... well, hold on a minute. We thought that was it - until our boy Howie dropped by and under his (usual) close inspection spied two addition small cold cracks near the nose of the bow. One each both sides...

"Sh*t!" 

... well, no big deal - but now just more work. The above image shows one of the cracks. That's the upper factory screw hole, with a lower stopper hole newly drilled by us partial to the repair. That apparent extension of the crack below the stopper hole is in reality an exterior scratch inadvertently cause by us by the drill bit when the drill slipped from our grasp after drilling the stopper. 

We only had to loosen the bow-end rails just enough to access the cracks

A regular 1/16" drill bit functioned perfectly as a side-cut drill in the soft plastic and worked great for following the diagonal crack

Both cracks prepped for sealing with G/flex epoxy adhesive

Epoxied and clamped for 24hr curing

A typical finished repair - looks OK

While we had things apart we figured that we might as well apply a few coats of wood finish to the inside surface of the rails. A two stage process in our case - first the front half of the boat then the back half

Got everything back together then drilled/installed the deck plates

Like the look of those cracks and scuffed/scratched hull - we like used stuff...

... always admired those dueling scars - real tattoos

Now it's ready to paddle